During the last few weeks I've had more than a handful of people tell me I need to get rid of all our foster kids. They say we already have enough going on in our lives without the stress of extra kids. I totally understand why people would say this. Maybe I look like I'm going crazy and that I'm can't handle whats going on. At moments, several lately, I feel like I would like to just quit and be done and send every child in my house away.
But take a minute and look at from a slightly different angle. Yes, I know it's not the same but still, just think about. Let's pretend all these kids at our house actually belong to us and they all have the same issues. I find out I'm pregnant and I get really sick and am feeling a little overwhelmed. Can I choose one or two of my kids that are too hard and just send them away. Nope, it doesn't work that way, well neither does foster care.
When you sign up for foster care, you are signing to be substitute parents for these kids. The only time you should ever consider removing them from your home is if your family will fall apart if you keep them or if it's in the best interest of the kids. The decision to move Tate out of our home was very difficult. We knew he needed to move while he was little so he could bond with the family that wanted to adopt him.
I can't think of one time that it has been convenient or easy to have extra kids in our home. Adding even one extra kid always makes life harder. We've all decided that we are willing to make our lives a little more difficult so that a few children's lives are made easier. After each one of our placements we talk to our kids about continuing fostering children. Never have they wanted to stop doing it, in fact it's usually Scott and I that want a break. So, for now we are keeping our extra two kids and we're going to make the best of it.
4 comments:
I'm ashamed to say that I was one of the people encouraging you to find another home for the two kids. Its only because I love you and want life to be a little easier for you right now. I will do better and you know I always support you whatever your decision.I think moms have a hard time seeing outside the box.
I can see where someone might be coming from with their well-intentioned advice. That being said, I am with you and your stance on the issue. Life is fuller and incredible when you can share it with little ones that are in need of some love. And you are an AMAZING mom, and that includes being a foster mom for as long as you want to do it.
An incredible thing that I've learned these days is that what seems impossible to one person, may be the embraced reality of another... and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just keep following your heart. :) Love you guys!
And THAT Des, is exactly why you are an amazing foster mom. You put the kids 1st. You are amazing and will be so blessed. Let us help in any way we can!
I really commend you for what you are doing to help these kids. Even though I'm sure it's hard to be sick and have more kids then normal but I think you are able to handle it better then anyone I know!
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