Saying Good Bye

I had to get a good picture of the oldest and youngest together cause two years is a long time.  

 I'm going to blow this picture up and hang it in Dreyden's room so he'll kinda remember him.

That's exactly how I feel about this whole thing.  All morning every little thing would make me cry, I tried really hard to hide it from Bayler.  He's so excited and I don't want to put a damper on it.  

 Here's another one of those moments that I had to cry about.  The last time he would be with his brother and sisters.  Whenever Bayler is home and just sitting around, all the kids flock to him.  They want to tell him things, ask his opinions, know what he's doing and just be by him.  I can't think of one time that he's acted annoyed or wanted them to go away from him.  He listens, plays and jokes with them like they're his best friends.  They adore their big brother.

 I know it's blurry but look at that smile.  He was so excited!!!  For a moment here and there I was excited for him too.

  A few of the missionaries going to the same mission.

We thought we would get there, check luggage in and then he would need to go right through security.  Thats what he really wanted to happen, he was ready to begin this new adventure.  I was kinda hoping for it to, why draw it out any longer, it makes it even harder.  All the other missionaries and their families were hanging out my baggage so we had them take a pic of us.  Then we waited around, trying to stay happy.  I could tell Bayler was getting anxious to get going so after about 1/2 hr we headed up the escalator to security.

 This was just as he was going to go through the line.  Avery simply couldn't be tough any longer.  It probably didn't help that I had totally lost it at this point.  Tylee had some tears too and Addason just kept saying over and over "it's only 2 short year, it's only 2 short year".  Landon wouldn't let go, I don't blame him one bit.  I thought about doing the same thing too.

 At this point the phone was being handled by someone else cause I stayed in the corner to cry my eyes out. It was too much for me to watch him disappear.  At that moment I felt like a piece of me was gone and someone tore my heart out.  As I look at this last picture, I see true happiness and excitement to go serve the Lord and his children and that helps me feel peace.  I know that eventually I will stop crying over the silliest things cause I know that he is doing what Heavenly Father wants him to be doing and I know that we as his family we also be blessed.  I heard a quote that sums up how I feel.  Leaving that which you love breaks your heart open. But you will find a jewel inside, and this precious jewel is the opening of your heart to all that is new and all that is different, and it will be the making of you -- if you allow it to be." (Jacqueline Winspear in "Leaving Everything Most Loved")

These awesome family changes are not sad, just emotional. How can I be sad when my kids are doing great things? And, they are making great things of themselves.